Saturday, June 04, 2011

What turned Ben-Gurion from a hawk into a dove?

What turned Ben-Gurion from a hawk into a dove? 3rd June 2011 haaretz.com

Explanation for the amazing change lies in developments following the Sinai Campaign, though there is a specific date on which the turnaround occurred.

By Ami Gluska
Toward the end of May 1967, the Egyptian army had deployed in eastern Sinai, the Straits of Tiran were blocked to Israeli shipping and transport of oil to Eilat, the reserves were called up, the economy was paralyzed, shelters were dug in backyards and public parks were readied to serve as temporary cemeteries. Great excitement prevailed in the whole Arab world. Fiery speeches and Cairo Radio broadcasts informed the masses that the end of the "Zionist entity" was near. On the Israeli home front, the sense of isolation and existential foreboding only grew.
Israel at the time was ruled by a moderate coalition headed by Levi Eshkol, who was a wise and level-headed prime minister and defense minister, but also a worn-out, fatherly type who lacked the charismatic leadership necessary to answer the collective psychological needs in a time of emergency. The government's stock was already at an unprecedented low, as a result of the severe economic recession and a worsening security situation, which led, among other things, to a wave of emigration from the country.
When the security crisis erupted in the middle of May, Israelis looked, on the one hand, to former Prime Minister and Defense Minister David Ben-Gurion, and on the other, to the Israel Defense Forces. At that time, the "Old Man" was the leader of the Rafi faction (the Hebrew acronym for Israel Workers List ) - a middle-sized opposition party, which was harshly critical of the government and its head. The IDF was the nation's darling, immune to criticism, protected by draconic censorship and basking in the aura of a victorious army. It was headed then by Yitzhak Rabin, a charismatic and popular chief of staff, and by a talented young General Staff, imbued with fighting spirit, consisting mainly of veterans of the Palmach pre-state underground.
Ben-Gurion and the General Staff held opposite opinions regarding the measures that should be taken. The army pressed with all its might for a preemptive attack for fear the advantage of taking the initiative would go to the enemy - while Ben-Gurion said military action should be conditioned on the completely unlikely agreement of "the friendly countries [the United States, Britain and France] and their commitment to supply arms to Israel."
Most of the cabinet ministers tended to agree with the Old Man. The government did all it could via diplomatic channels to avoid a war, despite the army's determined stance. When the officers' pressure increased to the point of fear of a putsch, Ben-Gurion came to the defense of the government. He called a press conference and declared: "The army in a democratic country does not act according to its own understanding, nor the understanding of the military commanders, but rather according to the understanding of the civil government and upon its instructions."
The state of emergency, the crisis in relations between the military and political echelons and the loss of the public's trust in Eshkol led to feverish political activity, on the part of the National Religious Party (at that time a "snow-white" dovish party ), Rafi and Gahal (the Herut-Liberal bloc ), which was intended to replace Eshkol with Ben-Gurion. But the efforts of the NRP interior minister Moshe Shapira (who was strongly opposed to going to war ) and Menachem Begin to convince Eshkol to step down in favor of Ben-Gurion, Begin's bitter enemy, were in vain.
On May 28, in response to a stern communication from U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson, Eshkol's government decided almost unanimously (17 to 1 ), contrary to the IDF's position, to wait for three weeks in order to enable continuation of the international effort to open the Straits of Tiran, and thus prevent a war. But exactly one week later, on June 4, the government (which in the meantime had been reinforced with ministers from Rafi and Gahal, Moshe Dayan and Menachem Begin, respectively, and had become the "national unity government ") decided to go to war immediately.
The next day, on the morning of June 5, when Ben-Gurion heard about the start of the fighting, he wrote in his journal: "I believe this is a grave mistake."
Tipping the balance
Ben-Gurion was mistaken: The government's decision was the inevitable outcome of failure on the diplomatic front; exacerbation of the threat to Israel when Jordan joined the military alliance and agreed to allow the Iraqi army to enter its territory to reach the front with Israel; and the lifting of the American veto on an Israeli first strike. Contributing to this, no doubt, were the strong opinions of the heads of the army, the change in the makeup of the cabinet and the fact that the defense portfolio was given to Dayan. The Jordanian move, however, was mainly what tipped the balance.
It was with good reason that the decision was passed in the cabinet with such a sweeping majority, and it was with reason that it earned general public support - even from committed peace-seekers in the Knesset like Uri Avnery and Moshe Sneh. There is no doubt: Israel's "grave mistake" was not going to war, but rather what it did after the war.
Since when had Ben-Gurion, the shaper of Israel's security doctrine, turned from a hawk into a dove? How did Ben-Gurion change his mind; the same Ben-Gurion who in the 1950s upheld a militant retribution policy against Arab infiltration and terror; the same Ben-Gurion who ejected Foreign Minister Moshe Sharett in June 1956 from the cabinet because of his consistent moderation and his opposition to a "preventive war" in June 1956; the same Ben-Gurion who in October of that same year signed a secret agreement with representatives of the governments of Britain and France on jointly waging war on Egypt, and in effect presented his government with a fait accompli?
The explanation for the amazing change in the Old Man lies in the aggregate of developments that followed the Sinai Campaign, though there is a specific date on which the turnaround occurred: November 8, 1956, a date Ben-Gurion noted in his journals as "a day of horrors."
Just one day earlier, Ben-Gurion stood on the Knesset platform and declared that the 1949 armistice lines between Israel and Egypt had "given up the ghost." On the preceding day, at a victory rally in Sharm el-Sheikh, to mark the end of the fighting, Chief of Staff Moshe Dayan read out an enthusiastic letter of congratulations sent to the IDF from the prime minister and defense minister (the same man, Ben-Gurion ), with a promise to annex Sharm el-Sheikh to the State of Israel, to the effect that "Yotvat, also known as Tiran, will once again be part of the Third Kingdom of Israel."
Moreover, a week before the start of the Sinai Campaign, in a secret meeting in Paris, Ben-Gurion set forth for his colleague French Premier Guy Mollet his vision of "a new Middle East," in which the borders in the region would be redrawn, the Kingdom of Jordan would be dismantled, the East Bank of the Jordan River would be handed over to Iraq and the West Bank would be handed over to Israeli control.
Now, at midnight, Ben-Gurion sat in front of the Israel Radio microphone and dolefully informed the citizens of Israel that the IDF would withdraw from the territories it had conquered from Egypt. This was indeed "a day of horrors": Britain and France, whose armies had already landed at Port Said, had surrendered to the threats from the Kremlin and the massive pressure from the White House and had stopped Operation Musketeer, which was aimed at restoring to them control of the Suez Canal.
A blunt cable to Ben-Gurion from the premier of the Soviet Union, Nikolai Bulganin, included an implied threat and expressed doubt regarding Israel's continued existence. In New York, United Nations Secretary General Dag Hammarskjold demanded in no uncertain terms that Israel withdraw immediately, and a resolution on sanctions was in the air. Washington, too, expressed its fury in a stern and uncompromising demand for withdrawal. An atmosphere of emergency and international crisis prevailed.
The terrifying impression left by the brutal suppression of the Hungarian revolt by Soviet tanks just a short time earlier was having its effect. There were more and more reports of deliveries of bombers and a flow of Soviet "volunteers" to Syria. Ben-Gurion surrendered - "very pale, angry as a wounded lion," as Dayan described him.
A new doctrine
During the subsequent three months, as the IDF was withdrawing from Sinai, Ben-Gurion was still trying to save even a shred of territorial achievement in the Gaza Strip or the Gulf of Aqaba, but in vain. His conclusion was clear: There is no point in expanding the borders of the state of Israel; the days of "preventive war" were over. Even a preventive strike was liable to cause Israel to face a hostile international front that would force Israel to return every inch. The dream of the expansive "Third Kingdom of Israel" was shelved.
The hawk donned the wings of a dove. Security moderation, preserving the status quo and effective deterrence became Ben-Gurion's defense goals. In the fall of 1957, an agreement was signed with France that engendered the nuclear reactor in Dimona. The building of the facility was aimed at creating deterrence by means of "superior force," which would cause the Arabs to fear war and compel them to come to terms with Israel's existence.
All his life Ben-Gurion feared for Israel's survival, and now a nostrum for it had been found, an alternative to an initiated war forced upon the country with its narrow dimensions. Ten years later, on the eve of the Six-Day War, the reactor (according to foreign reports ) was very close to the stage of being productive, but had not yet crossed that threshold.
Ben-Gurion's moderation was clearly manifested in his relinquishing of any territorial ambitions after the Sinai Campaign. Mordechai Gur, who in the early 1960s was head of the Operations Division at the General Staff, asked to present him the operational plan on file for occupying the West Bank, but Ben-Gurion refused even to listen.
In an interview with journalist (and later MK ) Geula Cohen on May 12, 1967, less than a month before the war broke out, Ben-Gurion was asked what he would tell his grandson when he asked what the borders of the homeland are. He replied: "The borders of your homeland, my grandson, are the borders of the State of Israel as they are today. That's it."
Liar and coward
During the six month before the Six-Day War, Ben-Gurion severely criticized his successor as premier, Levi Eshkol, for actions by the air force and the ground forces, which in his opinion had contributed to a dangerous escalation of tensions. On May 21, 1967, a week after the crisis erupted, Chief of Staff Rabin came to Ben-Gurion asking for advice. Cold water was thrown on him, as Ben-Gurion gave him an earful of harsh criticism of those IDF actions and of the call-up of the reserves, even though the call-up was still partial at that time. Rabin left beleaguered and depressed.
The next day Ben-Gurion noted in his journal: "[Gershom] Schocken and Avraham Schweitzer [Haaretz editor and editorial board member] came to me for a conversation."
Ben-Gurion lashed out to them about Eshkol, "Who tried to exploit security for election purposes ..., attacked a non-hostile Jordan and destroyed a civilian village [the Samua action in November of 1966], contrary to the position over all the years that turned every retributive action in Syria into a kind of war ... as a lying and cowardly prime minister?"
Schocken went back to Ben-Gurion on May 27 and showed him an opinion piece supporting a first strike against Egypt. "I told him succinctly that I did not agree with his article," wrote Ben-Gurion in his journal. He opposed going to war for two reasons: fear for the fate of the reactor in Dimona, which everyone considered a top target for the Egyptian air force, and the certainty that international pressure would immediately force Israel to withdraw from any territory it occupied.
Ben-Gurion was not alone in assuming Israel would be compelled to return any territory it occupied. It was also the government and the IDF General Staff's initial assumption. In its decision to send the army to war, the government declared that it wanted only to "release Israel from the noose tightening around it."Upon the outbreak of the fighting, Defense Minister Dayan, said: "We have no aims of conquest."
The government, which on June 5 discussed whether to occupy (Begin called this "liberate" ) the Old City of Jerusalem and if not, to whom to return it, was very angry at King Hussein (for having joined Egypt and Syria ). Interior Minister Shapira declared: "To Jordan we will not return it. To the world, yes" (by which he meant internationalization ). Prime Minister Eshkol said: "In the Jordanian sector we are going with the foreknowledge that we will have to leave [East] Jerusalem and the West Bank." Defense Minister Dayan, in response to a question from GOC Central Command Uzi Narkiss, replied: "Who needs all that Vatican?"
A pinch of salt
Many years have gone by and soon it will be 50 years since that war, the jubilee. Huge changes have taken place on the ground, and there have been UN resolutions, diplomatic initiatives, peace agreements, wars and terror attacks, and repeated vain attempts to arrive at a resolution of the conflict between Israel and the Palestinians. Ben-Gurion's basic assumption, and that of the Eshkol government, to the effect that the "world" would not accept the expansion of Israel's borders and would demand its return to the lines of June 4, 1967, (with agreed-upon changes ) as the basis of any agreement, has not been refuted.
Ben-Gurion and Israel's entire political leadership before the Six-Day War would have adopted such an arrangement joyfully. Prime ministers of Israel during recent decades have agreed to it with reservations. And yet, 1967 has never been the constitutive trauma of the Palestinian people. In the Palestinian national ethos, both here and in the diaspora, the "anchor" was and has remained 1948. It is doubtful that at this stage in history there is a magic formula that will satisfy the Palestinians' demand for "justice" and with which Israel will be able to live. Sixty-three years after 1948 and 44 years after the Six-Day War, this is apparently the bleak truth.
The 1949 cease-fire lines, known today as "the 1967 borders," were Ben-Gurion's handiwork. They reflected the State of Israel's victory and the expansion of its territory from the 55 percent of Mandatory Palestine allocated to it in the UN partition resolution of 1947 to 78 percent after the War of Independence. Ben-Gurion believed it was impossible to obtain more, and in a debate in the Knesset about the cease-fire with Jordan, he adumbrated the diplomatic and demographic reasons why he had decided to be content with this. Among other things, he said: "We could, militarily ... have occupied all of the western land of Israel. And then what would happen? We would become one state. But that state would want to be democratic, there would be general elections - and we would be in the minority. Thus, when the question arose of the wholeness of the land without a Jewish state, or a Jewish state without the wholeness of the land, we chose a Jewish state without the wholeness of the land."
Ben-Gurion's approach to the question of the borders was usually realistic and sober. The glib statements attributed to him - "Oom-shmoom," dismissing the United Nations, ("Oom" being the Hebrew Acronym for "United Nations"), and "It's not important what the gentiles say, it's important what the Jews do" - should be taken with a big pinch of salt. Ben-Gurion's panicked order to the IDF during Operation Horev in December 1948 to beat a fast retreat from Sinai, the withdrawal from all the territories occupied by the IDF in the Sinai Campaign and his position during the "waiting period" in 1967 against going to war without backing from the powers - all testified to his understanding of the limits of Israel's strength and his predominant consideration for world opinion.

Dr. Ami Gluska is the author of the book "The Israeli Military And the Origins of the 1967 War: Government, Armed Forces and Defense Policy 1963-1967" (Routledge, 2006 ).
 
 
    This story is by: Ami Gluska

Friday, May 13, 2011

Startups Are Hard


Startups Are Hard


– 2551 words
Startups are hard. No, startups are damn hard.
Contrary to popular belief, there are no clouds of money that float around Silicon Valley and rain on anyone that utters the phrase, "I'm a founder!" Unfortunately, starting a company and raising money is just as hard as ever; it's just that the investors don't have as much leverage as they used to, but they still have a lot.
Most reporting on startups suffers from a terrible case of success bias. Nobody wants to report on a dying startup unless it is to highlight another company that has come along to kill them, but that actually turns into a piece about the better company and not the dying one.
Startups that die rarely talk about it publicly because it is frustrating, embarrassing, and most of the time the people involved want to forget the whole mess and move on rather than sit around talking about the fact that they failed.
Most people don't want to admit that startups are hard, either, because to admit something is hard is to admit that you don't know everything there is to know about a certain topic and to display weakness. If there's one thing you do not want to do as a startup, it's appear weak. Only the strong survive.
But guess what: startups are hard. At times they are soul-crushingly hard. I am not afraid to admit this anymore. I am not afraid to talk openly about it with peers anymore. So, this post serves as a counterpoint to all the recent postings alluding to the fact that anyone can suddenly decide to be a founder and the next week find themselves swimming around in a kiddie-pool full of angel/VC money.

You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You

In the Valley, you are a Nobody until you are a Somebody. Trying to launch a new product as a Nobody is hard. Trying to get press as a Nobody is very hard because nobody knows who you are (read: nobody cares who you are) and so they don't care about your product. Press outlets are already so saturated with inbound leads from trusted and credible sources that trying to promote yourself as a Nobody will find your attempts mostly routed to an inbox black hole.
Raising money as a Nobody isn't just hard, it is nearly impossible. There are a few major factors that investors look at when making an investment decision. Two big factors are Traction and Revenue, and they are somewhat orthogonal. It's ok if you have impressive numbers on one axis but not the other, but having both is even better.
One other major factor is Social Proof: that is, Are you a Somebody?
Having a track record of past success is a really big deal. This is what allows people to raise money with their name alone. It allows them to walk into a VC office, say "I have a cool idea," and walk out with a fat check. (This is an oversimplification, of course, but it's not too far off.) The fact that the Color team was able to raise $41MM is not a surprise to me; in fact that number seems pretty low given the resources they will need to reach their ambitious goals. Being a Somebody affords you lots and lots of advantages (both in getting press and raising money).
So then, the question becomes, how does a Nobody become a Somebody? You need your first big success to become a Somebody. Having your first big hit as a Nobody is the major bootstrap problem that all new founders will face. The trick is to brute force a successful result in the face of nobody caring about who you are. And that, to me, is the hardest part about startups. It demands superior execution and perseverance in the face of the crap-storm you will endure.
I'm still a Nobody in the Valley. Sure, I have a lot of great contacts, a great network of fellow startup folks, and a great resume of past corporate experience, but all that does not a Somebody make. Until I have a track record of at least one past success, I will continue to be a Nobody.

"Jealousy... is a mental cancer." -B.C. Forbes

Am I jealous of other companies' success? I would be lying if I said no. I am slightly jealous when I wake up and read another story about some company raising a million dollars for some idea that makes absolutely no sense to me, or seeing an acquisition of a company for a product I did not feel was particularly well executed. I am happy for them because they were able to pull off something that I know first hand is very hard. At the same time I am jealous that they were able to figure something out that I honestly haven't been able to yet. The point is, though, I am not just sitting around whining and waiting for my ship to come in. I am actively building my ship from scratch by hand, and one day it will set sail. I am also discovering how to refocus that envious energy into learning from their successful experiences.

Having a Support Group

Startups are grueling, and the only way to stay sane is to have some sort of support group, especially outside of work. Co-founders and employees are of course wonderful for support, but they are also drinking the same kool-aid. Having some friends outside of work to give different perspectives is very valuable. Since we just moved to the area recently, we haven't had time to foster many new or deep friendships. So for me, my greatest supporter is my wife.
My wife is a saint. She has supported me everyday with encouragement. She is my biggest cheerleader. Somedays I am honestly surprised that I don't wake up and find an empty dresser, a missing suitcase, and a letter on the counter. She has sacrificed every bit as much as I have for no other reason than she believes in me. Some days that is the only motivation moving me forward.
Recently my wife found a job after six months of searching. It's right up her alley, and she loves it. This has been a real boon both for her morale and for our bank account. Her paycheck now represents a significant portion of our income, and I recognize this fact. Thanks to her job, I am able to reduce my paycheck and thus give a longer lifespan to my startup.
Someday when this is all over, and assuming the result is that we can afford it, I owe her a month long stay at a 5-star spa.

Sacrifice

Startups demand sacrifice. As a sample size of two, here is a list of things my wife and I have sacrificed in order to go out and chase the American Dream:
  • · My well-salaried corporate job working on fun and interesting problems.
  • · A peer group at work that gave me equal amounts of respect even though I was several years their junior.
  • · Low cost of living on the East Coast.
  • · Our three-story townhouse with a huge kitchen and hardwood floors in the 'burbs traded in for a tiny one-bedroom apartment in San Francisco with insane rent (in addition to still paying the mortgage on our house).
  • · My awesome sports car that I loved to drive around the mountains.
  • · Burning through nearly all of our personal savings.
  • · Health insurance.
  • · Vacations (read: time-off, since I could still travel around if I really wanted to, but I am never really "off the clock.")
  • · Monthly contributions to a 401k plan.
  • · Our great church home in Raleigh.
  • · My wife's friends.
  • · My wife's job at UNC.
  • · Nine months living separated from my wife while I went through YC and tried to raise money thereafter.
  • · Sold all of our belongings except our clothes so we could move across the country.
  • · Took on credit card debt for the first time in our lives.
  • · Left my funk band (happily, they found a replacement and are still jamming!).
  • · Losing my hair (well ok, this has been happening for a while...).
Has it all been worth it? If you are expecting me to say "Yes, of course!" you would be wrong. The truth is, it hasn't been worth it at all... yet.
Financially speaking, we are much worse off now than when I took the plunge. Of course the goal is for it to be worth it someday, but it is unclear how long it will ultimately take. In other aspects of my life, it may have been worth it so far, but it is hard to quantify those things. For example, I am now surrounded by a lot of like minded technical people (which is great!), but overall my quality of life has taken a big hit. How long one can take this is a measure of their true grit, but how long that is for me personally remains to be seen.

Startup Depression

In the case of Notifo and Phrygian Labs, Inc (the parent company of Notifo), we had a terrible time fundraising last fall, even when the investing market was starting to get really hot again. You can read Paul's excellent post about some of our experience and lessons learned. The ultimate reality, though, is that we failed utterly at fundraising. We ended up wasting a lot of time. We had dozens and dozens of intros which led to about 40 or so meetings. After spending 3 months and hearing "No" 39 times (this includes all the jerks who never bothered to reply with an answer after our meeting and repeated attempts of contacting them) we decided to just give up raising money. We looked around and felt like everyone around us was raising insane rounds with no problem, and here we were just getting stonewalled. The net effect was that it killed our morale dead.
After hearing, "UR DOING IT WRONG!" so many times, it's hard to think that you're doing anything right. At that point it's very hard to soldier on. One of the things I regret now is that we didn't just carry on in spite of everyone telling us no. We had made a terrible mistake; we had given control to the investors, and they weren't even giving us money! We let them dictate our path with their negative signaling instead of listening to our guts. We had been told, "...mobile notifications is a hot space, you'll have no problem raising a ton of money," so many times that when we failed to do so, it made us feel like total idiots.
Looking back, I wish we had carried on full-bore, but I can also remember after we quit fundraising that I felt like such utter shit that I didn't feel much like doing anything at all, much less writing code. There was literally a week when I would just stay in bed all day so I didn't have to face the world. This was the lowest point in my entire life.
The lesson here is, if you are having trouble putting together a round in the first few weeks of actual investor meetings, just say, "screw it," and get back to working ASAP.
On top of all that, in the middle of all that fundraising junk we received an "interesting" acquisition offer from another company. That is another long story for another time, but the end result was that they caught us at our most vulnerable which caused a lot of mental anguish. We basically went back and forth on accepting and rejecting it dozens of times. After seeking advice from Paul Graham about the situation and telling him how much money we had left in the bank he said, "There are starving startups in Africa that don't have that much money. You still have time to make a go of it!" Ultimately, it was not the right offer and we said no.
This whole episode basically set us on a sideways path of non-productivity for the next several months as we flailed around looking for a way to pivot or just reset entirely.

Going Forward

Which leads us to: so what now? Paul and I are not ready to quit. I personally don't really know how to quit. When I make a commitment, there is very little that will stop me from following through, even in the face of adversity. I believe you have to adapt to play the cards you are dealt (this is also why I am a lousy poker player, I rarely know when to fold because I try to force a good hand out of a crummy one). We are willing to see this through to the bitter end if necessary. If this means changing course and trying something new, then sobeit, but while there is money in the bank we will continue on. We have some ideas and are investigating them further.
To that end, Paul and I are going to be part of the Y Combinator Summer 2011 batch in order to reinvigorate ourselves. I am excited for Paul to go through YC with me this time, as I went through YC in Winter 2010 as a single founder. We are doing YC again for all the other reasons, too: the people, the advice, and the motivation you have when you are progressing along with dozens of other companies at a rapid clip. There might be a few of you wondering if we are doing it for the "Yuri money," but we don't even know if we are eligible for that since we are not a new YC company. If we get it, that's just an added bonus, but we are very eager to just get plugged back in.
There are big changes ahead for Phrygian Labs. What that means in practice is still unknown, but we are still motivated and determined to succeed.

Conclusions

So, what is the point here? The point is that startups are still hard even if nobody is spending time discussing that fact. Admitting this fact and realizing that all other startups are in your same boat is liberating. Having other friends who are in startups that are willing to openly share their hardships is cathartic. It helps you realize you are not alone when it seems like everyone else is succeeding. Of course it looks like everyone else is succeeding; every company has a duty to seem like they are doing fine from the outside, otherwise everyone (investors, press, and most importantly customers) will lose all confidence in them. Every company has this facade that they are doing really well, and this creates the very convincing illusion that you are the only ones suffering. The reality is, every startup is basically screwed in one way or another. The fact that a large majority of startups fail is a testament to how hard they really are. If startups were easy, everyone would be running them.
Thanks to Paul Stamatiou, Zain Memon, Lloyd Armbrust, Paul Biggar, Jon Dahl, and Trevor Blackwell for proofreading drafts of this post.
Further discussion in the comments below, or on Hacker News.
— Fin.
Tagged: startup ycombinator tech
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  • Your Future 7 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    YCombinator has been watered down the past couple of years, you have too many companies chasing too few dollars, the business model for YC is basically build a company, gain some traction, and then get acquired for between $5-$25 million dollars (Heroku is an outlier). None of the great web companies on the web Twitter, Facebook, Groupon started in an incubator, and incubator gives external validation that can result in you going down a wrong path, just because the great Paul Graham tells you your idea is good, doesn't mean it is, I'm going to give you some advice and you can follow it or ignore it, I would challenge you to drop the Notifo idea, drop YC, and go back to your home in NC with your amazing wife, work on some small web projects in your spare time and ship them out to see if they gain traction, please don't make the mistake of giving up all you worked for and all your happiness for a "dream" that is unlikely to come true, while at HBS I was taught that great entrepreneurs don't take risks, they manage them, and right now you're risking too much and while your wife may be showing you outward support you have no idea what's going on inside, I lost my wife moving from GA to Silicon Valley chasing $$$ and the Startup dream thinking that making $$$ would make us happier, what I failed to realize is that we WERE happy with the 9-5 grind, the nice house, the great friends and sense of community, I just didn't know it until it was too late.

    -A Friend

  • Mikhail 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    I say take Your Future's advice to heart. There may be plenty of people encouraging you to follow your dream no matter what, close friends even, but in the end they don't have a stake in your dream or in you. It is too easy to say: "risk it all", when you don't have to pick up the pieces. Remember that while there are many people who accomplished great things in the face of adversity, there are just as many who simply got lucky. From your post, it seems like you are in a really dark place emotionally and psychologically. You wouldn't have written this post otherwise, because, let's face it, no one was saying that startups are easy in the first place. So, I do sincerely wish you the best you luck and that things finally turn around one way or another.

    Best,

  • jazzychad 3 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    Well, it's too late now :) We've already moved once, and doing it all again would certainly bankrupt us at this point. We have learned some really valuable lessons from the past year, and I plan to use them to either succeed or fail faster this time around. We are young and can afford to lose everything in the name of taking a big risk, but I am also aware that I am not willing to sacrifice my marriage to accomplish that.

    For better or worse, I am the kind of person that has to touch the stove to know that it's hot, and I have to know in my gut that, even if I failed, I tried my hardest.

  • Your Future 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    Well since that is the case, make sure you meet people, so if things don't workout you can quickly find a job afterwards. That was my real regret, I was stuck in SV with no way to get a job because I didn't spend enough time making friends outside of the startup/fundraising context. I wish you guys the best and I will certainly be rooting for you.

  • jazzychad 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Yes, this is excellent advice, and I should write more about it sometime. Thankfully I was given this advice early on, and being part of YC has helped tremendously in building a network of peers out here.

  • Leon Nguyen, Founder 123exchanges.com 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Totally agree. Don't risk love because it's not easy to find.

  • Peter Chang, CEO / Founder of SpotSift. 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    In general, I agree that PG/YC encourages a certain kind of startup/exit but I don't think that's a reason not to listen to them.

    The other advice here is crap. Stay here. That was an awesome move by you. If you're really going to do entrepreneurship in consumer web, this is the place to be. Keep trying and don't give up the dream.

  • Jose 5 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    I hate to be the person that tells you that but: STOP IT!!, NOW!! It will sound harsh but if you want to success you need to change.(you are making it bad so anything that goes against your comfort zone is going to shock you). I see obese people making friends with fat people so they could manage to not work out of they issues(they pity each other and tell how this is a "metabolism" thing[they do not realize 20-40 years ago people had not different metabolism] or whatever excuses BS so they stay the same).

    I know it is easier to hear the compassionate guys feeling bad for you, the easy way is letting others pity you, but this is WRONG MENTALITY for starting a startup. Period.

    If you feel that startups are hard, you need to get out of it now, I know because I have been in the same place that you are today. It means you are focusing your mind on the wrong side. It is obvious to me, look at the negatives on your article, YOU ARE BURNED OUT.

    You are not entitled to anything, just improve your live. Whatever you do, do it proudly as a man. Decide(cut alternatives) for yourself and never look back.

    Sacrifice, guilt feelings, jealously, BAD BAD feelings. Stop complaining and get a job or stop complaining, start looking at the positive side. You know Plato? he was an Hoplite warrior in his youth, he had to fight for his life, kill other people and see his friends dying. Today in some places people have a hard life, I have been in India and seen poor children almost starve playing around electrified cables(some kids die from time to time), in China people stay 24-7 on a factory... that is HARD LIFE.

    Sacrifice is one of the worst feelings of all, it means you are making something for getting a goal, it is very dangerous when you do not get there, in fact is devastating even if you get there(you will have some dollars in your account and wonder: "Is that all about"). You must enjoy your journey first. Life is too sort.

    I recommend you to go travel there(Bombay) and see yourself, it is not that expensive, if you want you can, I did and I'm Spanish. Everything you are complaining about will become extremely small and insignificant when you realize how f*ch*ng lucky you are. Seriously.

    STARTUPS ARE NOT HARD OR SOFT, this is a subjective feeling you feel. Tightening a bolt nut could be hard if you try it with your hands, or it could be easy if you know how to(with a wrench). You can maximize efforts(like Soviet Russia did, read "The Perestroika" from Gorbachev) focusing on effort or maximize results. Your choice.

    My advice: Learn to control your thoughts, people that are successful manage to "manufacture optimism". Learn to manage your time, read "The power of full engagement", listen to Eben Pagan programs on business, or Tony Robbins, Monty Leftkoe, whatever, but stop complaining and searching for sympathy and kindness. You won't learn from other people that are in the same place that you are.

    Work on yourself and you won't need to complain, you will fill the holes on your emotional being that are leaking so much today(just read your article), maybe you do not get rich, but you will improve your life(as they say "God help those that help themselves", or if you are atheist "People love to help those that help themselves").

  • Peter Chang, CEO / Founder of SpotSift. 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    I pretty much disagree with this. I may be biased since I'm a first-time entrepreneur going through these same things.

    I think this post is useful because people who aren't entrepreneurs think that you can knock on some angel's door and they'll practically throw $1MM in your face. They read about the people who did their startup for 2 years and made X millions of dollars. Like Chad mentioned, there's a large success bias in reporting (which is to be understandable).

    A post like this is a useful reality check for people who are thinking of making the jump but haven't. You read it as him having a negative attitude. I think he sees things for what they are. Going into debt is not subjective. Selling all your stuff and moving is not subjective. Not having health insurance is not subjective.

    It's good advice as to what sacrifices you will face if you pursue this path.

    If anything, I think your attitude has more to do with brushing things under the rug than his does. His attitude addresses reality. I think his attitude healthy and I think his optimism (yes, there was optimism in this post) will serve him well in the long run.

  • jazzychad 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Right, I was just calling things as I see them. I am certainly optimistic about the future!

  • Vivek 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    This is true in the absolute sense but even founders are human - at some point you will feel it and at that time its useful to vent if not to only serve as a warning to others on the same path.

    If we didnt have posts like this all of us would actually believe that when you incorporate, a VC will visit your apartment and give you a $2 million dollar bill :) ...

  • yeahphil 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    If you're going to leave an arrogant and condescending comment like this, you should at least have the guts to use your full name.

  • jeffiel 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    With this level of openness and honesty with yourselves (and the world), you and Paul have great things ahead. Cheering for Phrygian.

  • jazzychad 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Thanks, Jeff :)

  • Issa Diao 3 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again (and when I'm a "somebody" maybe people will listen!). Forget YC...everyone who wants to found a company should be in a band. You will learn everything you need to know about how to run a startup: money will be tight, stress will be high, egos will clash, popularity/traction will be hard to come by, and just having a good record isn't enough to make you successful.

  • Tim 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    Haha this is so true!!! I'm an ex-professional musician (signed to the largest independent record label in the world) transitioning into an entrepreneur. One of the main reasons I actually left the band was to do this. And it's funny because everything I'm doing now seems second nature because I'd already gone through it in the band. For instance, we just started out doing something we loved... then we got an investor to give us some cash so we could record a high quality album... next thing we know we got signed and started touring and the rest is history.

  • Tim 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Oh but I should also mention that it's absolutely nothing like it looks from the other side. The reality of it all is kind of harsh, and that's a life lesson I'm glad I learned early on. It has definitely prepared me for starting my own business(es). And it's all still harsh, but at least I'm somewhat prepared for the reality of it all.

  • BD 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Ask yourself this, would you rather live the "high life" when youre in your 50's and beyond, or live a well balanced yet still fun and exciting life while youre still relatively young? Im a successful business owner in my early 30's, and dont want you to get caught up like most people theze days in the pointless and non-"winnable" race of trying to keep up with or out do your colleagues, neighbors, friends, etc. Thoughts?

  • Allan 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Chad, you are one of my heroes from YC W2010 - seriously. I thought you were brave for going it alone as a solo founder. You shipped code fast. You were one of the good guys.

    Before you get back in the grind, I hope you spend some quality time with your wife. We're lucky to have remarkable women who support our dreams.

  • Matt 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Hi. You don't know me at all but every word of your post felt as if it could have been pulled from my life. The beauty of this post for me was the sacrifices. As I find myself in the fray, the American dream and the pursuit of happiness pale in comparison to the people we love. My guess is that you are tempted to regret your choices but wouldn't ever wish that the struggle never happened. I wouldn't put either wild success or stunning failure beyond my expectations, but neither result weighs on me like it used to. Funny thing is that the failure has removed my fear of failure. I am more able to enjoy what I have... and materially.. it ain't much. Maybe someday it will be and I pray that the joy I have found in struggle will translate. So I don't know you, but thanks for enduring and encouraging in a way that only pain can inspire.

  • Joe Robinson 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Thanks for writing this. You've managed to capture the startup experience in a way that I've experienced, but never seen written before. Great post.

  • Jose 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Oh, I forgot. The Indian kid whose brother was killed in an accident, always with a smile in their face!. Those people have nothing and they give you everything they have when you go to see them.

  • Nick Barker 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    I felt compelled to respond to your post Chad and wrote my own post reacting to many of your comments. Here's the copy:



    “Startups are damn hard”, but rewarding..



    I read Jazzy Chad’s emotional and brutal ‘Startups are hard post‘ and wanted to add my own comments. I don’t know Chad but in my opinion he’s being very hard on himself. His lack of reaching his goals and achievements seems to be tearing him apart and making him frustrated and bitter. Yes I agree startups are damn hard, but they are also rewarding, fun and fulfilling. Let us not forget this.



    I’ve drawn out and condensed some of Chad’s text and added my comments. I thank Chad for his passion, honesty and putting this in the open.




    - Startups are hard. No, startups are damn hard.


    “Startups that die rarely talk about it publicly because it is frustrating, embarrassing, and most of the time the people involved want to forget the whole mess and move on rather than sit around talking about the fact that they failed.

    Most people don’t want to admit that startups are hard, either, because to admit something is hard is to admit that you don’t know everything there is to know about a certain topic and to display weakness.”


    I whole heartily agree (admit) that startups are damn hard. I’ve always said this 5 ‘Shocking’ things founding a startup, Startup vs Home Life,Entrepreneurs: Beating the employee out of you.. You have to admit something to truly embrace it. We failed when we started.

    My co-founder and I spent seven months and a pile of cash building something that went nowhere. It took us time to get over it but we did. There were lessons to be learnt from this experience, they just take time before you see all the dots join.




    - You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You


    “In the Valley, you are a Nobody until you are a Somebody. Trying to launch a new product as a Nobody is hard. Trying to get press as a Nobody is very hard because nobody knows who you are and so they don’t care about your product.

    Raising money as a Nobody isn’t just hard, it is nearly impossible. There are a few major factors that investors look at when making an investment decision. Two big factors are Traction and Revenue.”


    We’re not in the valley, so I can’t comment on this location, but I know nobody is listening to us where we are! In my mind the only people that real love comes from is your customers. We prefer to focus on them.




    - “Jealousy… is a mental cancer.” -B.C. Forbes


    “Am I jealous of other companies’ success? I would be lying if I said no. I am slightly jealous when I wake up and read another story about some company raising a million dollars for some idea that makes absolutely no sense to me, or seeing an acquisition of a company for a product I did not feel was particularly well executed.”

    I do also suffer from this sometimes. My ego gets in the way. But then I remember the reality: it’s not easy and that mostly everyone will have been through many, many challenges to become a success!




    - Sacrifice


    “Startups demand sacrifice… Has it all been worth it? If you are expecting me to say “Yes, of course!” you would be wrong. The truth is, it hasn’t been worth it at all… yet.


    Financially speaking, we are much worse off now than when I took the plunge. Of course the goal is for it to be worth it someday, but it is unclear how long it will ultimately take. In other aspects of my life, it may have been worth it so far, but it is hard to quantify those things.”


    Yes, startups demand sacrifice! Has it been worth it for me, hell yeah. I’ve said this before: “You have to let it all go…fear…doubt & disbelief…Free your mind! and Life, death & startups. Why’s it been worth it – becausestartups aren’t just about the money.


    They’re about life. More specifically life experiences with people around you.. Don’t get me wrong money is vital. It’s the lubricant for our companies. But money is not the heart and soul of an organisation, a company. It’s in the people: co-founders, colleagues, friends (including your customers).




    - Startup Depression


    “…The ultimate reality, though, is that we failed utterly at fundraising. We ended up wasting a lot of time. We had dozens and dozens of intros which led to about 40 or so meetings. After spending 3 months and hearing “No” 39 times we decided to just give up raising money. We looked around and felt like everyone around us was raising insane rounds with no problem. The net effect was that it killed our morale dead.”


    After hearing, “UR DOING IT WRONG!” so many times, it’s hard to think that you’re doing anything right. At that point it’s very hard to soldier on. We had made a terrible mistake; we had given control to the investors, and they weren’t even giving us money!…


    The lesson here is, if you are having trouble putting together a round in the first few weeks of actual investor meetings, just say, “screw it,” and get back to working ASAP.”


    Every time I go into a conversation with an investor or investment adviser, all I hear is demand after demand.. This has happened right from the beginning of our startup. They want a solid product, more revenues, more customers, longer term contract, etc.. On and on it goes.


    On the other hand you have customers. They are different. Yes, there are demands but they are willing to pay if you’re of value. Don’t get me wrong investors are vital but customers come first and I think Chad is getting that wrong way round.




    - Going Forward


    “Which leads us to: so what now? Paul and I are not ready to quit. I personally don’t really know how to quit. When I make a commitment, there is very little that will stop me from following through, even in the face of adversity. I believe you have to adapt to play the cards you are dealt. We are willing to see this through to the bitter end if necessary. If this means changing course and trying something new, then sobeit, but while there is money in the bank we will continue on. We have some ideas and are investigating them further.”


    For me knowing when to quit is the hardest question for any startup founder! Unfortunately startup founders often become obsessed by achievement at any cost. They become like sports people who over-train and leave little time for recovery. This leads to burn out or diminishing returns. A vicious circle of in frustration and bitterness is then formed. Sometimes you have to take a break to see the bigger picture orquit to succeed!!

  • Nick Barker 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    I felt compelled to respond to your post Chad and wrote my own post reacting to many of your comments. Here's the copy:

    “Startups are damn hard”, but rewarding..I read Jazzy Chad’s emotional and brutal ‘Startups are hard post‘ and wanted to add my own comments. I don’t know Chad but in my opinion he’s being very hard on himself. His lack of reaching his goals and achievements seems to be tearing him apart and making him frustrated and bitter. Yes I agree startups are damn hard, but they are also rewarding, fun and fulfilling. Let us not forget this.I’ve drawn out and condensed some of Chad’s text and added my comments. I thank Chad for his passion, honesty and putting this in the open.Startups are hard. No, startups are damn hard.“Startups that die rarely talk about it publicly because it is frustrating, embarrassing, and most of the time the people involved want to forget the whole mess and move on rather than sit around talking about the fact that they failed.Most people don’t want to admit that startups are hard, either, because to admit something is hard is to admit that you don’t know everything there is to know about a certain topic and to display weakness.”I whole heartily agree (admit) that startups are damn hard. I’ve always said this 5 ‘Shocking’ things founding a startup, Startup vs Home Life,Entrepreneurs: Beating the employee out of you.. You have to admit something to truly embrace it. We failed when we started.My co-founder and I spent seven months and a pile of cash building something that went nowhere. It took us time to get over it but we did. There were lessons to be learnt from this experience, they just take time before you see all the dots join.You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You“In the Valley, you are a Nobody until you are a Somebody. Trying to launch a new product as a Nobody is hard. Trying to get press as a Nobody is very hard because nobody knows who you are and so they don’t care about your product.Raising money as a Nobody isn’t just hard, it is nearly impossible. There are a few major factors that investors look at when making an investment decision. Two big factors are Traction and Revenue.”We’re not in the valley, so I can’t comment on this location, but I know nobody is listening to us where we are! In my mind the only people that real love comes from is your customers. We prefer to focus on them.“Jealousy… is a mental cancer.” -B.C. Forbes“Am I jealous of other companies’ success? I would be lying if I said no. I am slightly jealous when I wake up and read another story about some company raising a million dollars for some idea that makes absolutely no sense to me, or seeing an acquisition of a company for a product I did not feel was particularly well executed.”I do also suffer from this sometimes. My ego gets in the way. But then I remember the reality: it’s not easy and that mostly everyone will have been through many, many challenges to become a success!Sacrifice“Startups demand sacrifice… Has it all been worth it? If you are expecting me to say “Yes, of course!” you would be wrong. The truth is, it hasn’t been worth it at all… yet.Financially speaking, we are much worse off now than when I took the plunge. Of course the goal is for it to be worth it someday, but it is unclear how long it will ultimately take. In other aspects of my life, it may have been worth it so far, but it is hard to quantify those things.”Yes, startups demand sacrifice! Has it been worth it for me, hell yeah. I’ve said this before: “You have to let it all go…fear…doubt & disbelief…Free your mind! and Life, death & startups. Why’s it been worth it – becausestartups aren’t just about the money.They’re about life. More specifically life experiences with people around you.. Don’t get me wrong money is vital. It’s the lubricant for our companies. But money is not the heart and soul of an organisation, a company. It’s in the people: co-founders, colleagues, friends (including your customers).Startup Depression“…The ultimate reality, though, is that we failed utterly at fundraising. We ended up wasting a lot of time. We had dozens and dozens of intros which led to about 40 or so meetings. After spending 3 months and hearing “No” 39 times we decided to just give up raising money. We looked around and felt like everyone around us was raising insane rounds with no problem. The net effect was that it killed our morale dead.”After hearing, “UR DOING IT WRONG!” so many times, it’s hard to think that you’re doing anything right. At that point it’s very hard to soldier on. We had made a terrible mistake; we had given control to the investors, and they weren’t even giving us money!…The lesson here is, if you are having trouble putting together a round in the first few weeks of actual investor meetings, just say, “screw it,” and get back to working ASAP.”Every time I go into a conversation with an investor or investment adviser, all I hear is demand after demand.. This has happened right from the beginning of our startup. They want a solid product, more revenues, more customers, longer term contract, etc.. On and on it goes.On the other hand you have customers. They are different. Yes, there are demands but they are willing to pay if you’re of value. Don’t get me wrong investors are vital but customers come first and I think Chad is getting that wrong way round.Going Forward“Which leads us to: so what now? Paul and I are not ready to quit. I personally don’t really know how to quit. When I make a commitment, there is very little that will stop me from following through, even in the face of adversity. I believe you have to adapt to play the cards you are dealt. We are willing to see this through to the bitter end if necessary. If this means changing course and trying something new, then sobeit, but while there is money in the bank we will continue on. We have some ideas and are investigating them further.”For me knowing when to quit is the hardest question for any startup founder! Unfortunately startup founders often become obsessed by achievement at any cost. They become like sports people who over-train and leave little time for recovery. This leads to burn out or diminishing returns. A vicious circle of in frustration and bitterness is then formed. Sometimes you have to take a break to see the bigger picture orquit to succeed!! I felt compelled to respond to your post Chad and wrote my own post reacting to many of your comments. Here's the copy:“Startups are damn hard”, but rewarding..I read Jazzy Chad’s emotional and brutal ‘Startups are hard post‘ and wanted to add my own comments. I don’t know Chad but in my opinion he’s being very hard on himself. His lack of reaching his goals and achievements seems to be tearing him apart and making him frustrated and bitter. Yes I agree startups are damn hard, but they are also rewarding, fun and fulfilling. Let us not forget this.I’ve drawn out and condensed some of Chad’s text and added my comments. I thank Chad for his passion, honesty and putting this in the open.Startups are hard. No, startups are damn hard.“Startups that die rarely talk about it publicly because it is frustrating, embarrassing, and most of the time the people involved want to forget the whole mess and move on rather than sit around talking about the fact that they failed.Most people don’t want to admit that startups are hard, either, because to admit something is hard is to admit that you don’t know everything there is to know about a certain topic and to display weakness.”I whole heartily agree (admit) that startups are damn hard. I’ve always said this 5 ‘Shocking’ things founding a startup, Startup vs Home Life,Entrepreneurs: Beating the employee out of you.. You have to admit something to truly embrace it. We failed when we started.My co-founder and I spent seven months and a pile of cash building something that went nowhere. It took us time to get over it but we did. There were lessons to be learnt from this experience, they just take time before you see all the dots join.You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You“In the Valley, you are a Nobody until you are a Somebody. Trying to launch a new product as a Nobody is hard. Trying to get press as a Nobody is very hard because nobody knows who you are and so they don’t care about your product.Raising money as a Nobody isn’t just hard, it is nearly impossible. There are a few major factors that investors look at when making an investment decision. Two big factors are Traction and Revenue.”We’re not in the valley, so I can’t comment on this location, but I know nobody is listening to us where we are! In my mind the only people that real love comes from is your customers. We prefer to focus on them.“Jealousy… is a mental cancer.” -B.C. Forbes“Am I jealous of other companies’ success? I would be lying if I said no. I am slightly jealous when I wake up and read another story about some company raising a million dollars for some idea that makes absolutely no sense to me, or seeing an acquisition of a company for a product I did not feel was particularly well executed.”I do also suffer from this sometimes. My ego gets in the way. But then I remember the reality: it’s not easy and that mostly everyone will have been through many, many challenges to become a success!Sacrifice“Startups demand sacrifice… Has it all been worth it? If you are expecting me to say “Yes, of course!” you would be wrong. The truth is, it hasn’t been worth it at all… yet.Financially speaking, we are much worse off now than when I took the plunge. Of course the goal is for it to be worth it someday, but it is unclear how long it will ultimately take. In other aspects of my life, it may have been worth it so far, but it is hard to quantify those things.”Yes, startups demand sacrifice! Has it been worth it for me, hell yeah. I’ve said this before: “You have to let it all go…fear…doubt & disbelief…Free your mind! and Life, death & startups. Why’s it been worth it – becausestartups aren’t just about the money.They’re about life. More specifically life experiences with people around you.. Don’t get me wrong money is vital. It’s the lubricant for our companies. But money is not the heart and soul of an organisation, a company. It’s in the people: co-founders, colleagues, friends (including your customers).Startup Depression“…The ultimate reality, though, is that we failed utterly at fundraising. We ended up wasting a lot of time. We had dozens and dozens of intros which led to about 40 or so meetings. After spending 3 months and hearing “No” 39 times we decided to just give up raising money. We looked around and felt like everyone around us was raising insane rounds with no problem. The net effect was that it killed our morale dead.”After hearing, “UR DOING IT WRONG!” so many times, it’s hard to think that you’re doing anything right. At that point it’s very hard to soldier on. We had made a terrible mistake; we had given control to the investors, and they weren’t even giving us money!…The lesson here is, if you are having trouble putting together a round in the first few weeks of actual investor meetings, just say, “screw it,” and get back to working ASAP.”Every time I go into a conversation with an investor or investment adviser, all I hear is demand after demand.. This has happened right from the beginning of our startup. They want a solid product, more revenues, more customers, longer term contract, etc.. On and on it goes.On the other hand you have customers. They are different. Yes, there are demands but they are willing to pay if you’re of value. Don’t get me wrong investors are vital but customers come first and I think Chad is getting that wrong way round.Going Forward“Which leads us to: so what now? Paul and I are not ready to quit. I personally don’t really know how to quit. When I make a commitment, there is very little that will stop me from following through, even in the face of adversity. I believe you have to adapt to play the cards you are dealt. We are willing to see this through to the bitter end if necessary. If this means changing course and trying something new, then sobeit, but while there is money in the bank we will continue on. We have some ideas and are investigating them further.”For me knowing when to quit is the hardest question for any startup founder! Unfortunately startup founders often become obsessed by achievement at any cost. They become like sports people who over-train and leave little time for recovery. This leads to burn out or diminishing returns. A vicious circle of in frustration and bitterness is then formed. Sometimes you have to take a break to see the bigger picture orquit to succeed!!

  • N920ds 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Chad, cheers to you for being transparent, amazingly intelligent, courageous, insightful, and grounded with the necessary
    excellent character to forge ahead.... This is an excellent post.... Thank you for writing it... I hope your well earned/well deserved fans
    paired with tweets from @jowyang sharing this post w/his fans as he did this morning (5-12-11) and others who will also share it forward
    will offer you further connections/opportunities you so well deserve....

  • Dude 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    I do share your pain chad but what i have learn't is that nobody is going to give you free money and i don'tt want to get caught up on unnecessary pressure of building something which might not be useful at all just because i thought it's cool or i took money from someone. Just like you I love to build new stuff, create something new and see if the idea has any legs.I was very exited about my last venture Challenge Dating - it's a very new and honest way to date online (i though so ;), having found my wife though online dating and going through the pain), but sometime some ideas are just too good to be true or requires a bit effort from people. We also talked to many VCs, everybody loved the idea but they all wanted to see the traction. Dating being heavily marketing game, is very hard to make it work without any money. I knew that fact before i started but somehow choose to ignore thinking this might just become a fun site and would go viral (we are very optimistic aren't we :)). Nothing like that happened and I couldn't get it off the ground. All the technology is there, site could to scale to 10 million users even today (thanks to amazon i don't have to pay for the infrastructure till i see that number), but NO critical mass. So i have put it on side burner and working on another idea which is going to solve the problem I have right now and doesn't require a market place.

    I don't believe there is any shortcut to success and let's keep trying and hope for the best..atleast we won't regret :)

  • Howard Greenstein, It's all at HowardGreenstein.com and Harbrooke.com 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    I'd like to take exception to the "

    Trying to get press as a Nobody is very hard because nobody knows who you are (read: nobody cares who you are) and so they don't care about your product." I write about start-ups at every stage - including failure (http://www.inc.com/howard-gree...
    This seems like an interesting story - reach out and let me know how your reset/YC summer is going. - Howard

  • jazzychad 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Hi Howard,


    Thanks! I will definitely take you up on that!

  • jontymisra 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Brilliant post - captured the entire start up experience for non-entrepreneurs as well.

  • BrianR 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand

    Hi Chad! BrianR here back in NC.

    It was pretty hard for me to read your post. I can relate to so many parts of it. I offer this following advice I hope as a equal. Not someone who has the authority to tell you what to do.

    Try boot strapping while using Lean Startup methodologies without taking outside capital. At lease for the first few years. Fund your ideas by completing sales. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L... Then when you have the track record of real earnings use your "somebody" status to negotiate aggressively.

    What every you do good luck!

  • santos88 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    In the worst case you could write a book about your experience and collect advice for the new wave enterpreneurs... it could be a big hit!

  • Matt Munson 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    This is the best post I've ever read on the difficult road of starting something new. Thanks for mustering the courage the share your challenges openly with the community.

  • ntreuter 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    I think this is a very interesting read, as someone who is at the very onset of their startup. Particularly when going through incubators, I'm sure you feel very confident about the results. I'm an older founder myself (30... which I guess is like a dinosaur!) and am just starting up our new site www.totaltab.com. We are doing it part-time now (nights and weekend) but I have bills and commitments that younger folks don't have, like a mortgage. I'm also about to start a family. So these things are all extra stressors for sure.

    Keep your head up, it is important to keep focus on the relationships in your life. A happier you will mean a happier business. That stuff all transcends to each other.

  • Jeff 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Fail fast. You don't always hit a home run (or even make contact) on your first swing. My personal entrepreneurial path has been an iterative and effectual process. Growth through sacrifice and failure. You don't know what you don't know - until you realize that you thought you knew it, but you didn't, and now you realize that you do (sorry, confusing/terribly formed sentence). Someone said it takes 10-15 years to become an expert in any one thing. Meaning someone may be either prodigal or lucky and expedite that process, but the odds dictate that most will take much longer than anticipated to get where they want to go.

    It is a way of life. Focusing on what you're missing out on, like what if you had a corporate gig, or trying to keep up with the 'Joneses' relative to other startups, can be frustrating and will yield you very little. This is you now - no going back. Unless this isn't you. Whether you have to adapt or not - success is the only option, even if you succeed through the lessons of failure. And most importantly, never forget: the basic fundamentals of business never go out of style.

    Good luck to you sir.

    Jeff

  • Paresh 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    Chad,

    Thanks for sharing. Have been through startup success (in India long time a go) and failure (north america, very recently lack funding was not the reason).You will be successful as a startup player for sure, you have what it takes to succeed so don't give up. I am not sure about the cost of success you and your wife might pay though (fortunately you don't have kids yet). Just make sure you are willing to pay the price for success so that you don't regret it when you hit startup success.

    Some one told me this as a true story, not sure if it is true but worth knowing. In South Africa a mining company was digging for gold for years without success. They gave up and sold the mine. The buying company hit gold very next week within less than few feet of digging (must have happened long time a go as with modern technology the first company would have got good idea what lies few feet ahead ;) ).

    Moral of the story - You will never know how far away you were/are from success until you try.

    PS - Following is unbelievable. I was working on a small bootstrapped product and getting good traction. I pitched to a VC (very first and last VC that I pitched to) for another product with huge potential. I, as a nobody with no team and just a product idea and architecture diagrams got offer of 2 million $ in funding from the very first VC that I pitched (I got referred by my ex boss who is a poster child of startup success in Toronto). I went to India for a planned vacation before we could complete the term sheet etc. Got wrongly sued by a big company and my world fell apart applying everything I had to defend myself which was futile (money, energy, time).

    Moral of the story - Getting funding = Startup success, lots more can be challenging too ;).

    Best wishes for success.

    Cheers,
    Paresh

  • Paresh 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Correction -
    Getting funding != Startup success

  • Dale Emmons, I write code, speak some German and often enjoy a good beer. 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Your biggest problem is you aren't solving a problem. Or maybe you are, but it's not obvious what that problem is. I'm looking at
    http://notifo.com right now and I see what your product is, but I have no idea how or why it would be useful. Mobile notifications - that's nice. Why do I need that?

    That you chose your path based on what VCs were telling you is currently "hot" is worrying. It makes it sound like you've built your product to get funded, not to solve a problem people will be willing to pay to have solved. That makes me think you're doing a startup for the fun of doing a startup - like getting funding and is the be-all and end-all of your company. I wouldn't invest in you either.

    You need to provide value to somebody who will pay. That's the game.

  • Senith Finance Tutor 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Well said Chad. I must also say that for most entrepreneurs the process and the hard parts are part of the game they enjoy. I remember the first two years of my start up as hard but still worth it. My wife said I was really stressed out but I said no way - I wasnt stresses out at all!!

  • M Mouse 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Good article, but it's hard to find sympathy. You were comfortable and rich, you're trying for your dream, and you'll end up rich even if you fail and go back to a corporate job. You live in one of the cities with the highest quality of living in the United States. It's not like you're a migrant laborer from India building the Burj Kafia in Dubai and you're living in squalor with no passport and no way out. So it's kind of hard for me to empathize with you, as a human being.

  • metju 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    First of all...great post. But if I may suggest, don't chase rocket that makes you rich. It's easier to take a train and get there 2 or 3 years "later". With your experience you can for example to help and coordinate other startups...maybe for entrepreneurs abroad etc. And I think pricing model would be in this case pretty obvious ;)

  • metju 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    First of all...great post. But if I may suggest, don't chase rocket that makes you rich. It's easier to take a train and get there 2 or 3 years "later". With your experience you can for example to help and coordinate other startups...maybe for entrepreneurs abroad etc. And I think pricing model would be in this case pretty obvious ;)

  • Jeremy 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    Good summary Chad. What's even harder is trying to do an IT startup outside of Silicon Valley, in a non-sexy area, with no credit cards to begin with. Now that causes grey hairs...

  • David Sandrowitz 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Add two kids and a mortgage to the pile...

  • giffc, CEO, Aprizi 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Love the honesty and determination. Wishing you success!

  • julie_poplawski, Author of lifestyle book weightloss 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Thank you. Thank you catharsis abounds!

  • Tony Hosie 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    chad, personally i think talk to your wife honestly and see what she wants to do. its great she has a job now. i think you do need to reassess your startup ideas, hopefully you now are more positive - meaning some of your comments re staying in bed for a week is really a waste of time.time you wont get back. be positive and work hard on your startup and dividends should pay off. i had a look at your website and one thing you need to remember is regarding the VC - whats in it for them. i don't see how giving you money will benefit them - look you don't have a pricing structure listed and you give a lot away, so how are they going to make money. they are not going to give you money if they cant see where they will get a return from. i did not see any real world application in your app. meaning no ebay notifcation of maybe your bid is now outbid or you won what you were buying. or paypal notifcation of payment received. i have read many articles mostly at tech crunch etc and some of those say that software companies have 100 products they are making and only 1 or 2 really get traction and are feasible $$$ spinoffs.. so i guess maybe you need more eggs in your basket. i guess that might mean you could loose sight of what you are doing and get side tracked but maybe you can think of another couple of ideas thats simple to implement or addition to your notfication one. eg i play tennis in a team and we always need fill ins and it requires a lot of phone calls to find a player that will play, maybe using your push notifications expressions of interest can be sent to all people on the list with the intent of making it easier & cheaper. certainly a service a lot of the sporting clubs could implement.the downside not everyone has smartphone,something that may change given time. anyway may you have plenty of good luck & fortune. just remember keep working hard and be and stay positive.
    Tony Hosie

  • gzino 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Good post.

    Some startups that fail do talk - including mine - and usually they learn some lessons that can be considered by other startups: http://nextblitz.com/blog/less...

    Good luck.

  • Mike Bestvina, Disruptive Technologies 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Awesome post. Can't agree more! I'm one of those people who's been blessed with the ability to balance many of these things are work (with less upswing though). Thats where the risk v reward comes into play and you either love it or hate it.

  • gimmi81 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Great post.

    Thanks for sharing and dont give up! :)

  • Jmartens 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Thanks for this post. I've got it book marked now for the next time I have a bad day with my company.

  • James McIntyre 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Thank you for this! Reminds me of Robert Greene's idea "Radical Realism": http://powerseductionandwar.co...

  • infostripe 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    This is exactly what we face at infostripe. Thanks for writing up your experiences. I am still reading and rereading parts. Sincerely. http://infostripe.com

  • James Chang 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Good post! I think realism is perfectly compatible with optimism - both have been helpful for me in my starting up process.

    In terms of "sacrifice", I've also swapped a regular corporate income with shares in a start up. But I found that process much easier psychologically once I started comparing my start up with traveling. Instead of living overseas for a year like some of my friends, I spent my money/time on a start up. In this context, I am grateful to have an awesome journey as a start up, experiencing and learning everything along the way, even if I don't end up with a profitable exit.

    Anyway, I've only just launched my product last month, so I am not an expert on anything. I sincerely hope your second round with YC goes well.

  • Vladimir Canro 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Entrepreneurship is more than a profession; it is a way of life. Remember success is a process.

  • Girard 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Great Article! Thanks for sharing your experience as a founder. As someone who has been in the trenches, raised hundreds of thousands of dollars, lost everything he owned and has survived, I recognize your story of hardship as though it was my own. I story that never gets told. The learned many lessons; (1) I learned that a startup is defined as a fun business. If you're not making money you're not having fun and you're dead.(2) Investors only want to give you money after are you're already successful. This means that you should focus on making the best product possible and making money, not about Investors and (3) you have to balance life with founding a startup. Money, power, owning a company and working in a job you love needs to balance health, love, friendship, family and energy. And finally (4) Rember the goal of why you're starting your own company. Then ask yourself, are their other ways to achieve it.

  • Michael Fox, Co-founder of www.shoesofprey.com. Blogs at www.22michaels.com. 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    A great post.

    A fellow entrepreneur once said to me:

    "Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won't, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can't."

    It sounds like you're still passionate about it Chad, hang in there!

  • Chng Nai Yun, 28 yr old wannabe hacker 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Thanks for sharing and good luck on your startup.

  • covati, A marketing software creator with a passion for social media. CTO and Founder of http://argylesocial.com 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Hey man, I'm sorry to hear things haven't gone swimmingly. But I have confidence that you and Paul will figure things out. And hey, remember man, you've always got friends back in the triangle.

    RTP FTW! ;)

  • Jeff Haynie 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Great post. Keep up the good fight. If it was easy, everyone would go do it.

  • Bold Technologies 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    very interesting perspective, a little gloomy but much appreciated!!!
    Lydia Chicles
    www.boldtechnologies.tv

  • Schuyler Brown 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Phenomenal post. Seriously. Everybody buys Fast Company, Forbes, etc... because they want the American dream. They want to be Zuckerberg or Bill Gates, but the truth is for every "rock star" there are 5,000 others that built great products at the wrong time, ran out of money, out of steam, out of sanity, and out of hair to pull...

    Those are the stories worth listening to because the survivors don't have time to listen to spin or b.s. The stories are real and the lessons learned are invaluable. I started Founders @Fail to share those stories. (http://www.meetup.com/founders... I'd love to share this post with members, if that's alright with you.

  • Vivek 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Great post guys - Thank you. I'm just starting off on my own startup journey and this kind of post makes me focus more.

  • Browsemob 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Great read Chad. It's hard to explain the unbelievable highs and lows that come with putting it all on the line with a startup. The opportunity cost is huge and it's all you can think about when you are in the darkest of places. I'm just glad to see I'm not the only one. Sometimes it does feel that every startup is moving ahead, raising money and heading for an exit, except yours.


  • Erik Engstrom 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    You're not alone, actually, you're better off than most. You have more access and are closer than nearly every entrepreneur I've met in the past six months, including myself. Twice in YC? People will surely be envious.

    Best of luck.

  • Peter Chang, CEO / Founder of SpotSift. 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Here here. You complain about being a nobody but most everyone else is a nobody and has never done YC (let alone twice). Consider yourself lucky.

  • Josh 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Refreshing, brutally honest - THANK YOU!

  • Leila Boujnane 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Awesome post mate! Loved your "try to force a good hand out of a crummy one". Good luck with your new YC stint. Don't give up. And yes, risk it all. All of it because you can't be sitting on the sidelines years from now wondering what it would have, could have been had you not simply given up! En avant!

  • Kent Olson 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Thanks for sharing and being so open. You articulated it it well. I found it reassuring and motivating. I'm sure others do/did. Keep at it.

  • Deyknow 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Great post.

  • Neil Ellis 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Love it, love it, so nice to hear the reality for most startups being spoken! Keep going man, and stay open to possibilities, who knows where it all will take you and don’t focus on the outcome - just take the chance to do something you love and believe in. Nothing in life is predictable except that one day it ends. So do what you love while doing your best to support anyone who depends on you, if it’s successful fantastic if it’s not well at least it beat doing a regular job for a while. The biggest mistake I made last year was focussing on the outcome - now I’m just glad when I get to do something I love - even though it is sometimes excruciatingly hard work. I have no idea where we’ll be next year and that’s fine.

    Good luck and look forward to the blog posting in a couple of years time where you tell us all how inevitable it was that you’d be the number one company in your field :-) :-) :-)

  • Mark Essel, founder, web hacker, alg geek, pro sim-gineer, blogger 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Great read Chad and a reminder of all founders give up with no promise of light at the end of the tunnel.
    Good hunting to you and Paul. If you're ever looking for an orthogonal view feel free to reach out.

    You've made it much further along the path than I ever have, and that's all good in my book. Our startup faded out after a year of struggling summer '09 to 2010. Have I given up on starting a company? Hell no. I'm working on refining my technical skills (still shakey for web dev but getting better) while making a living and paying down bills, and learning everything I can about product development/recognizing a hungry market.

Reactions

  • oscar_bravo via    twitter
    #Startups are hard - http://ow.ly/4SFIP
  • spassas via    twitter
    A special #ff @moraitakis @jazzychad for the best posts I read this week. Links http://bit.ly/k2jrWP & http://bit.ly/k5o6Ry (respectively)
  • jer979 via    twitter
    RT @cschultz: Startups Are Hard http://t.co/oIY9sFt via @jazzychad - great read
  • cziomek via    twitter
    Startups Are Hard : jazzychad's blog http://t.co/AO4zJ3i via @jazzychad
  • erindotbell via    twitter
    Startups Are Hard : jazzychad's blog http://t.co/t5YaFVX via @jazzychad
  • zen_cx via    twitter
    Startups are hard: http://tinyurl.com/65zzrwg #startup #entrepreneur
  • adonoho via    twitter
    RT @rwenderlich: Really interesting article & discussion: Startups are Hard! Much applies to iOS dev as well. http://ow.ly/4ONlk (via @jazzychad)
  • TinaHui via    twitter
    Just had a solid @theleisurely call. Cannot agree more. Startups ARE (incredibly) hard work. http://bit.ly/m6sXZh via @missrogue. #in #fb
  • mignas via    twitter
    RT @viliusl: RT @leahculver: RT @missrogue: “Most reporting on startups suffers from a terrible case of success bias.” - @jazzychad http://bit.ly/l2psRI
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